Invisibility

The title is quite self-explanatory. I followed this as a principle religiously until a few weeks back. I am known to be invisible on google talk.

There are three kinds of people:

1. Some are online all the time but not necessarily quick or consistent in responding

2. Some are never online at business hours (on any time zone) because they are in jobs where they don't sit in front of the computer (donno if it's really true that they can't chat from their mobile phones too. Hmmm people work in steel plants and manufacturing units ... I do understand).

3. Finally there is the invisible lot. Disguise, deception or discretion ... call it whatever you want, being invisible does have a few advantages. But I have to start with a story ... and then come back to this point.

Many a time, we add people to chat lists when we interact with them often. The reason for talking frequently might expire, but people remain "friends" on google talk or whatever. That's not really bad but I have seen some things happen and it's hard to say whether someone's violating the "chat conduct code" when they do certain things.

Here's an example. I throw my invisibility cloak away for a bit, most probably because I have to start a video call / discuss something of academic importance ...and someone who hasn't spoken to me for at least a year pings me! I don't reply immediately because I am truly busy and then I send an offliner / email later. That friend chooses to not respond and I too don't retry. It's not practically possible to guarantee immediate responses to chat toasts but when someone pings to just say hi and there isn't much to talk, it's subtly understood that neither party intended to be impolite (this rule does NOT apply to my close friends, they are very much entitled to question me / accuse me if I don't reply to pings and I hope those people "know" that they are close to me. I can't mention names for the fear of good friendships changing or ending later. Likewise, I too would only "ping" some people as opposed to emailing them. It could be because I can't wait too long to get an answer, or because they reply to pings but not emails or because I have the liberty to ping them anytime! It's obvious, there's really no need to elaborate too much.)

Then there's the next scenario. People start chats without knowing how long the conversation can last. We all have heard some or all of these.

"Are you there?
Yes and no."

"What you doing?
Nothing in particular. (which means myself or the other person could have 25 tabs open and might be online for no particular reason / to just chat with any good friend who might care to ping.)

"Hi
Hi

<< awkward pause >>

some sentences

<< implicit end of conversation >> "

Nonetheless, even a "Hi" means a lot to me at times, if it comes from someone who's dear (to) but not near (me). I'd interpret the "absence of bad news" as good news, and honestly that's all I'd have wanted to know even if I talked for longer.

So many people chat with me when I am visible but they don't ping me when I don't show up online. I realized that being online does make a difference and it doesn't require any great effort on my part to stay online (as much as I can). I want to say thanks to all the people who have initiated chats whenever they saw me online, remembered to share news with me (quite saddened by some bad news and worried for someone as I type this post) or called me / messaged me / emailed me, really, thanks for not giving up on me. And sorry, there have been times when I have felt guilty for not staying in touch but took my time to deal with that guilt (mostly the ones who care ping me on their own and my guilt disappears or I realize that there's no need to feel guilty because they don't want to talk anyway. Either way, I deceive (?) myself or prefer to believe that it's a "win-win" situation for me.

P.S. I usually become very eloquent whenever some change happens in my life. A lot of changes are happening but there is one CHANGE that I want to (or rather have to) see pretty soon. Closing in the hope that that right thing will happen at the right time.

P.P.S. I'll say the truth. I test Google Talk on production. :) I wish there was / there comes a way to become invisible on a mobile device. (Yahoo Messenger has the option to "Appear Offline" to some people, but total invisibility is still a feature that I am yet to see. :) )

Adios!