Don't ask, just give

I have made more than three contributions to different individuals / organizations raising funds for some cause that means a lot to them and / or others in the past month. Funny thing is, I feel nothing. I don't feel good, I don't feel bad. I remember (the) beggars who I couldn't/ can't tolerate. I just pull out whatever change I can find if the sight of a child begging for food irritates me. I know that most of the money is not going into good hands. After all, it's a mean world. People make children beg on the streets. I have refused to give money to a lot of beggars. I have given money at other times when I was just in a different mood. I am not an angel, I am just another human being. I particularly hate it when someone touches me when they are asking for money. I am not going to eradicate beggary. I just hate it. I have been told that a certain beggar was a familiar sight when I was a little girl. I used to look out the window and see her beg. She was just another normal entity in the society to me. Today, I keep hoping that I don't have to run into any beggar when I step out of home. That's one half of the story.

Here's part of the other half. Legend goes that brahmins had to take alms to fill their stomachs once upon a time. I don't know, I wasn't there then. But I have some sentiment for a certain story of Adi Shankara. It's nice to tell stories, I'll make this one short. Adi Shankara went to a poor woman's house for alms, she gave him the single gooseberry that she'd saved for herself as she had nothing else to eat that day. Adi Shankara was overwhelmed with gratitude and he composed the Kanakadhara Stotram in that fervor. Golden gooseberries rained on the woman's house. (That part is kinda hard to visualize actually.) What did the woman do with those seriously? The legend about the "Akshaya Patram" in the Mahabharat seems more convincing sometimes. But where did that thing go after that? People won't be hungry if that was there. So that story is also not so believable now. :-| Anyway, I play the Kanakadhara Stotram often. M.S.Subbulakshmi sings it so sincerely. Unlike the "Akshaya Patram" that disappeared mysteriously, there is some reward for listening to / saying this Stotram. Whoever listens to it will never be poor, they say. I don't want to argue like this now - "So, if I arrange for all the beggars in the street to listen to that prayer everyday, will they all become rich?!" No, of course not. Terms and conditions apply. Even a fool would know that. :) But I'll not be poor, because I am special. (I'd not be poor even if I don't play that thing at all, but I like that song, so I'll play it. I am not listening to it because I want to be rich. (But I want to be rich.))

That's enough digression already. People are impatiently wondering when this post will end. I know! I was talking about people who raise funds for humanity, charity, whatever. There are too many of them. They face a lot of difficulties. It's not easy to sustain any non-profit organization. Each one of those needs some loyal contributors at least. They (the organizations) need to be seen, they need to be heard and they do a lot (even sing and dance) to make people give money. Unfortunately, I don't feel anything when someone asks me directly or indirectly to donate for any such cause. I give whatever I can and there ends the matter. But something else has changed. Every time I open my closet, I know how many clothes I have. One great man decided to not wear a shirt until every man (and woman) in this world had a shirt (or some equivalent female clothing) to wear. He'd be roaming shirtless even today. Sigh! (There are two very personal shirt / t-shirt stories which can't be shared in this post. I am smiling wide thinking about those.) CHANGE! CHANGE! Yes, I have been following a minimalistic lifestyle. (It's still extravagant with numerous trips to Dunkin Donuts and TCBY. ;-) ) I try to not buy things that I don't need. (Some convenient exceptions have been made, still. I am not a bad person, I do stick to my principles.) I would not buy gold for the rest of my life. Every time I look at the cost of anything fancy, I equate it to the number of meals that someone can eat with that much money. I am not far from earning, but when I do, I know that I'll give money to a certain place where they feed a lot of people. I'll do that because I'd give with feeling, not like a machine. I want to do that.

One last word. I haven't explained the title of my post. I just wanted to say that we needn't question each other on how generous we are or who we are being kind to. Such adjectives are unnecessary. Even "good" is too big an adjective and in a world where anything can be made optional, who am I to talk about responsibilities? I'll finish this post, I think I'll be understood. Adios!